(Heads up, I am not the most skilled or technically correct writer, but I love it ;)
Rewind
In 2020 there was lots of extra time at home. Time to think, time to think about time, a privilege. I felt self centered tho, because while the world was upside down, I was contemplative about my own life… As a child and through college I had been really passionate about art, yet it drifted away. Out of college, I had gone straight into a good full time job, rather than choosing my dream job (to become a sculptor) I chose graphic design, for 18 years. It was reliable, I am grateful for it. It allowed me to meet many lovely friends, but mainly because I could work from home enabling me be with my children, from babies to now. Which I would not switch for all the world, invaluable memories. I am privileged.
Still, I started wondering what makes me happy... A concept I often ignored in the name of getting the job done, or making sure other people had what they needed. You know, apart from my family and friends, what do I enjoy, just for me? I couldn’t think of anything. And why do I always feel greedy or self indulgent to pursue something outside of my daily routine of life... Why do I feel so guilty to put aside some time to myself to create something… I realized I had only created a handful of little drawings or paintings since collage, and nothing in the last decade.
I tried to pick up painting again, I felt rusty, it had been a long time since college. So, I started re-studying drawing, painting and sculpture with the New York Academy of Art CS and I loved it, but still I felt nothing creatively.
In March 2023
I made a decision, I took a solo trip to find inspiration, with the hope of moving past my 10+ years of creative block. I chose Mexico City, a childhood dream to visit. It lived up to my imagination and more, the city was full of life, culture, music and art.
My first stop, Palacio de Bellas Artes, every detail within the building was a piece of art, even the doors. Then I came across this immense and powerful mural, Liberación by Jorge González Camarena, created in 1957-1963. He is a great Mexican artist of Cubism and Magical Realism, his murals can be found in Mexico and Chile. I have a passion for symbolic art – this piece was intensely stacked with it. I felt emotional when first saw it. It’s pretty powerful, like a wake-up slap in the face. The oppression – physically, politically, spiritually. And the strength of the people in his country’s history (and maybe all of humanity). I think the message I got was, we can overcome anything, if we keep learning, keep the faith in ourselves, we will always get back up and stand strong. For me, it left me feeling empowered. I respect what he stood for – justice and social equality for Latin Americans and all. I am so grateful I stumbled across his murals, I even happened across another one, called Las Razas y La Cultura (Races and Cultures), at the MNA. Stunning, powerful and feminine. Symbolizing the “beauty, unity, and diversity of humankind”.
Rare art like this, created with soul (not Ai), is comforting to me. Almost like it’s alive, like an old ancestor telling us a story. Forever looping a message of the real history, helping us learn, understand, have faith, to be unified.
In the country I live in there are some bullies holding the reins, again, trying to play games of power with the people, again. But I have faith, good will prevail.
P E A C E
Detail of Liberación mural: tattoos on the body are said to be symbols of prejudices and prohibitions.
'Las Razas y La Cultura' mural by Jorge González Camarena at the MNA, CDMX
I did many other things while on this trip… walking the cobbled side streets in the evenings, strolling the parks of Coyoacan and La Condesa, running aorund the huge Museo Nacional de Antropología (MNA) and exploring the Pyramid of the Sun and the Moon.
I loved the locals, most people I met were genuine, down to earth, real. Connected to nature, used their heart and hands to create. Strong national pride. Laid back, living more in the moment. And most importantly, focused on their families. Something to respect.
I plan to return to Mexico City, I’d love to see more of Jorge’s murals, and relax for a while, enjoy the culture.
So, it worked, my block was broken. I left feeling inspired to create something...
7 months later Sept 2023
I changed careers. I started as an art instructor at a small local art school, thanks to the The Artist Outpost, San Diego. Today, I am still teaching lessons there, and I am doing my own thing too, oil paintings, pottery, sculpture and working on watercolor commissions. It was a leap of faith. I’m a lot more creative now, as my job pushes me to be in that state of mind, I have given myself full permission to create everyday now. It feels good.
(The first painting I made after my block ended was ‘I SEE’ oil on canvas, 5ft x 4ft)
Liberation.
These are my highly unprofessional photos. I have made peace with my lack of patience and ability to be photographically technically skilled – the need to be perfect. I seem to be happiest when capturing a moment over perfection. That’s my excuse anyway ;)
